Jonah Day

This past Sunday we attended Church at Touzhill with Jayme and Lynn. It is a more westernized service. it's not like home, but it's really not like the community Churches either. Then we had a quick shopping run to get supplies for the farewell braai for Chris and Sophie. The afternoon was spent preparing our food until it was time to start the braai. After that, we just went to bed. Yeah, we're a crazy bunch...

Monday was a pretty good day. We went to Siyathuthuka and went on home visits. I'm planning on writing a more in-depth entry on what that means very soon, but that's all you get for now. On our way home, we stopped for our weekly grocery run. It was fairly quick because we only have to prepare a few meals this week. While we were there, I went with my roommate, Alicia, and Mariah to get our ears pierced at the pharmacy. When in Africa... Mariah and I both got our cartilage pierced, while Alicia opted for her upper lobe. They are all easily covered, which might be necessary as we are spending the whole weekend out in community. We will be spending four days and three nights in child-headed households. We will have bottled water for ourselves, and food to share with the family. We will also take things like nail polish (for the girls), playing cards, and things like crayons, depending on the age of the child. Things to help bridge the language barrier. It is a great privilege for these families to host us, but it is also a privilege for those of us who get to experience being invited into these homes. Even if it is a twenty minute home visit, it is an honor. But I digress...

So we went shopping, got our piercings, and were pretty excited with ourselves. We came back to relax - we had an entire evening free to ourselves!!! Orientation is jam-packed, so typically we are grateful to have an hour of downtime, let alone an entire evening! I made myself dinner pretty early and then threw in a load of laundry. Then I got on facebook and read about the accident that killed Jason Drew. I did not know Jason, but I knew his wife, Chelsea, her brother, Matt. I went to the same school with them, and knew them since I was in kindergarten. I first met Jason's brother, Mike, when I was in 7th grade. I always saw Chelsea with their young boys. Those memories coupled with the knowledge of Jason's death was crippling. I initially went out to the patio where everyone else was eating dinner, thinking that it would be nice to be around people. I just ended up sitting on the floor leaning against the building, and opted to go back to my room, I forced myself to put away my laundry, which was a very slow task after that news, and then I sat staring at my computer screen for about an hour. At the time, I was also chatting to a friend about a rough situation. Everyone has an opinion, but no one has all the facts, which is excessively frustrating. I left my door open, partially because I just wanted the breeze to bring in fresh air, and partially because I think I wanted to be found. Mariah did find me, as she was headed to her room and noticed my door was wide open. She just popped in her head and immediately saw on my face that I was not okay. I talked and cried, and then she prayed. It's immensely humbling and rejuvenating to be individually, purposefully prayed for. It's something that we don't necessarily embrace in Westernized Churches back home, but it is an integral part of the Hands family. After that I dried my tears and again went out to attempt to be social with everyone in my intake. After a brief synopsis of my evening, we migrated inside to get away from the mosquitoes. Russell attempted to help me work on a crossword puzzle and Dave showed me some pictures from his travels. Partially because of companionship in general, but also probably partly because I imagine I was a pretty pathetic creature. And it's a well known fact that men are averse to tears. Anyway... we're still a crazy bunch: after that, it was bedtime (surprise!)

This morning was ladies prayer and Jason's death was still weighing heavily on my heart. I waited as everyone else listed their prayer requests. When there was silence, almost immediately as I started speaking, I got emotional. And I cried again. In front off all the ladies here. But it is what it is, and I got loads of hugs. Mel and I had a good discussion, as I was feeling pretty drained already. It wasn't even 9AM and we were still going out to community, which was a pretty daunting combination. I ran up to the boys, Michael and David, to get some caffeine. Then we went into our morning session with Emily. I already felt pretty close to Leyton, as we've been crammed together in a Hands vehicle on more than one occasion, but today it was time to get closer to Russell as we had to cram four people onto a small piece of paper. We had to all have both our feet on the paper, with nothing touching the floor. Like the initiatives course at summer camp. It was a challenge and I could just feel Russell behind me right as he lost his balance. Emily explained that this was a visualization of what we face as we go into home visits in the community, and are preparing for our community stay. If we work together and communicate, we can help each other to balance on the paper. Then we went back to Siyathuthuka for home visits. As I mentioned, I'm going to give a much deeper post on home visits soon, but they are inspiring and heartbreaking at the same time. It is genuinely difficult to wrap my head around everything at once. We went back to the feeding point to play with the children until it was time to leave.

Tonight was our third Foodapalooza: Breakfast for dinner! Emily, Divine, Marc, and the Dutchman (because I don't actually know how to spell his name) were invited to come down from 'upstairs' to join us. Then we discussed the first adult television shows we all watched when we were younger, and we played Apples to Apples. That's an American game, which can be somewhat interesting when it is being played by a diverse group of people who are not familiar with all of the references. And then you guessed it - we stayed in the Village just relaxing until everyone went off to bed. On this particular evening, Alicia and I were the hold outs. I believe Russell was around somewhere on a phone call too, but we were the last to leave the Village. It was nice because I was feeling especially exasperated. I had been working on a different blog entry. I hadn't actually gotten to the point to consider publishing it. I actually started writing it yesterday and it's just been pending. Someone suggested that I ought not to publish it, which is true, and was brought up for valid reasons, but it irked me just the same. I think I'm mostly frustrated because so much has happened in the last two weeks and I'm still processing everything. When I am questioned about something, I cannot automatically formulate the ideal answer I would like to present. I know why I feel the way I feel, and I know the feelings are true, but I cannot articulate all of the details that reinforce my decision. No one has all the facts, yet everyone has an opinion. Seriously. It's exasperating! I am so thankful Alicia is my roommate though. She just has an innate sense of self that impacts how she responds to everything and that I find positively hysterical! I love her mixture of Canadian and Indian sayings. She is also pleased with my assimilation to Canadian vocabulary. She insists I have started to say 'aboot' though I'm pretty sure it's just because I mock Dave when he mocks the Canadians... But Mariah definitely caught me saying 'oh hey!' in a very Canadian accent...so guilty as charged!

Anyway... I should probably go to sleep, but I'd much rather listen to some American music on my iPod while no one can distract me. Over forty people here in the Village and I am the only American... I don't mind listening to other people's music at all, but I would rather sing to songs when I know all the words. Despite all of the pathetic moments and exasperation, today has actually been a satisfactory day. Though, I am not sure this blog will make any sense to the outside world...but nevertheless... To wrap up, I will leave you with three things:

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

Gotye: just because, I know he's not American, but he's still a keeper!

Beyonce: because she is American, and because Mariah and I rocked out to this song, among others, in the Venture today!

The last 30 hours just feels like they were lived in slow motion, and as if I was looking at myself from the outside at a distance. Painfully aware of my mistakes and shortcomings. Here's to hoping for a better day tomorrow! If nothing else, I do know I am blessed to be born into circumstances much better than the children we serve here. I also know that God is sovereign; that everything will ultimately work to display His glory.